blawgs's Xanga

How Naive

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 07:51:40 GMT

The last post was never made to be for a single person but for many people in general...

Incarnation blues

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 09:31:58 GMT

Time moves slowly as we pass by the ancient but mordern days of our lives.. passing the statues of dead old people... never knowing whether he is watching whether he cares... such things dont really stir the thoughts of my incomplete and hollow mind... cynical... mmmm.... so you can try to take them down beat the to the ground but they will see u screaming in the depths of your lonely mind... My hate cannot be found for the world i live in isnt yours to be in...theres always a time to dicriminate, hate every motherfucker thats in ur way... old fashion fachism has to take it away.. everything has formed to pieces, young and hostile but not stupid, we need guidence we've been mislead, corporate leaders policticians kids cant voted adults elect them, signs that caution 16's unsafe, we never wanted to be abused we never give up its no use, if we're fucked up ur to blame...drown us with rules of caution, teenage rules they're fucked and boring...

no point asking where i am, whats i'm doing or where i'm going... when ure sad when ure lonely no one else can help u but me, i dont care if the world hates me if u hate me if he hates me....i'm never easy, i might seem so, its hard to show i dont care cause i do...its not about me anymore, its all about u...

Its been awhile since i've gone and fucked things up just like i always do, but all that shit seems to disappear when i'm with you...

today i'm dirty i want to be pretty, tommorow i'm just dirt...we're dead and we know just who we are... some children died the other day, we fed machines and then we prayed..we are the nobodies and we wanna be somebody's....the dead would know just who we are...

all the times that i felt like this wont end, its for u, and i would taste soemthing i could not have, was from you...

I'm not sorry i met you....

Why?

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 20:55:35 GMT

black lining in beautiful eyes, makes my day makes me cry...this time i was too dumb to run, too dead to die...

A boy on a string

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 13:14:51 GMT

I sit here day and night
Wishing with all my might
That one day you will see
How much you mean to me

You're like an angel sent from above
And I want you to trust me with your love
I don't see you everyday
But you're in my heart anyway

You're gentle, kind, and sweet
And I'm praying the next day we meet
You'll fall in love with me
And then you'll finally see
What I've been feeling all this time
Wishing you were mine.

i'm a boy on a string dangle on it with the hope of you loving me, reach down inside pull my heart with all my might

You really are my angel so bright...

The Pain...

Mon, 10 Mar 2008 18:01:25 GMT

How is it that u'd not be ready, u werent the time before and u arent now, it cannot be that i wasnt right, i am i wil and always will be...you just cant see it, why not me, i could've made it right, i know i could, i'm older now..i love....but having no love coming back, its the pain that matters, its the fact thats painful, no i cant care, i wont want to, but i do...

I said to u, the world, how important it is to be free..you didnt take my advice, u're bound up you're stuck up you're disgusting. i saw a man today he came up to me and tried to start a conversation, he was a lonely man, talking bout the weather itreid to give him my attention, but his vast stupidty and blindness made me drowsy, i couldnt even see it myself, it happens that i'd just threw up on him....he wasnt pleased...and i couldnt stop laughing...

Amazingly i could wake up today and not wishing to sleep forever, but rather wishing not to ever wake up... does that make sense of course it doesnt, cynical they called me, such a young age, hah! Could you ever imagine the media calling me cynical, dont you think why?, why did he make this world this way, why did he write this play, i lost it, the feeling, the drive, the mojo... feelings, opportunity, disgust and envy, its going thru my mind. I never wonder, now i'm wondering...

You are to me what i want to be
Never caring always free
Free to fly
Just to pass by
Not me i'm not free
not even to be me
Always a mask
Never to ask
Why can't i be free?
Cynical as i am
i'm stuck in a jam
Cheated by a sham
See? i dont give a damn...
See if you care
Or if you don't dare
Maybe i gave you a scare
Even if you dont try
You dont have to cry
You can always lay down, and die...

Teen Distortion

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 20:49:33 GMT

Havent updated in a while... whats funny is that i havent actually changed the main topic of my blog...my posts have always been always about me, or about me and her...i'm gonna write about the world today, not what it did to me but what it really is.

The world? its nothing, but to my perspective its about the lies corruption and also the weird....haihz havent done this in a long time...fuck that...

the world is screwed up....the world is wretched, angry and polluted piece of crap, and the people?, they're fuckde up too... politics, damn....we are young believers to the old decievers, yea we're the target audience....fucking assholes...hah! anyway i belive we shuld achieve equilibrium and fuck the system. ok now back to the main topic..

Standing here maybe sitting thinking, about what had happened if i wasnt so harsh if i wasnt so naive..so what do u call an indian that becomes president?.... Shit happens...hhaha... i cant be emo anymore, because i've had too much of it already.. sarcasm works thou... Will u remember me if i had died?....yes u will....i know u will..

When we are good, you close your eyes, so when we are bad, we'll scar your mind....

i'm not a slave to a god that doesnt exist and i'm not a world that doesnt give a shit....

Fading away on a cloud of dust

Mon, 12 Nov 2007 10:48:31 GMT

i walk by life... fading away...meaningless my life is...so pointless aimless...goaless...whats the point.. no one gave me hope that life still has meaning...no one has given me the love i need not even u...i'm losing my touch with life...i walk into my house knowing it isnt mine...i walk in making noise waking everybody...yet i dont care anymore...i dont have a goal to achieve...pleasures of the skin does not touch my heart anymore...i dont receive any other pleasure certainly not of the heart or the mind...but i'm fading away my sanity isnt what its supposed to be...what i want...isnt want anymore...what i am?...i dont know anymore...i'm not insecure...and thats the problem...i'm never being anybody....never gonna be somebody...i can see my future....i'd be thinking when i stand in my roomseeing 6 foot of my tool to be free...just hanging there...then in a second...i'd be free....thats my future that my destiny... i wont hesitate..no more no more...my time is short...it is my fate...

The lost of my life

Tue, 06 Nov 2007 09:02:31 GMT

these past few months everyone has been changing...but know i changed...but always stagnant in the maturity.. i was informed of this by my friends....but not counting that....just partically one person...just one....he means the world to me...i'd give up my world so he'd be happy...if given a chance i would say "i promise that i'm not trying to make ur life harder, i know i left too much massive destruction to come back again and i can understand if u cant talk to me again..and if u live by the rules that its over...then i'm sure that makes sense...if u dont want me as a friend and say u'd be happier if i wasnt there then...i wouldnt say anything...but being friends with u....u will always be my friend but if u dont consider us friends anymore then i accept it...if that in some way makes u happy then ok...i would...but bro...i didnt mean to diss u or degrade u or lose ur trust or even ditch u....and i know u tolerated that shit for so long...i know u couldnt take my shit anymore so u broke it off...but tell me the next time u come back....i cherish our friendship...i took granted...but i deserve a way to repent coz in my life....a life without u wouldnt be a life for me..and death would be more suitable...i'm be dumbed out for u k...i'll be deaf for u i'd be blind for u...and if u never want me to say anything ever again so i could keep our friendship...i'd do it...it is me...it is me...i love u bro...more than anything in this world...more than the perfectual bliss that the world has given me....u know...no one could love u as a brother more than i have and had and always will....i'm sorry i didnt spend much time with u...in reality i'm the degraded one...in reality i'm the one that dosnt deserve life....

Into Eternity

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 11:19:44 GMT

Read her blog...i know its immature just saying that...but i have a feeling that she doesnt know what shes talking bout...i'm feeling like crap tday...imagine...a sunset....ah fuck this...i'm just really ficked up right now

ps: time is a matter of essence on which i am not subjected to but yet... time is not what i need but patience is what i crave for...

Even odds

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 17:17:59 GMT

Looking up in the sky as the distant voices echo behind me...i watched the sky as if it was my world i watched and drifted into sureality...yet at that time intoxicated by the alcohol i consumed i asked what i shuldnt have...for what...for his satisfaction...wow...i love life..intoxication...i watched as i destroyed my chances but gained everything else...elimination rocks my world....searching your soul...not wanting to move on....singularity is bliss..i despise that...we shuld multiply...wahahaha...game or no game i'm going for shit i havent gone for...fuck this shit....its a waste of my time...my help is never repayed...i use my words for them never for me...fuck this shit...i'm walking the fuck outta here....Try, try to even my odds out...take the challenge u cant win...i will outmind u i will show u how my words can effect ur world...just try to even my odds out....Just try...